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Showing posts with label Cheat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cheat. Show all posts

Monday, January 7, 2013

'Downton Abbey' Season Three Cheat Sheet

© Carnival Film & Television Limited 2012 for MASTERPIECE

Ready to reenter the world of the classiest soap opera in television history? When Downton Abbey begins its third season here in the States on PBS this Sunday – it's already aired in the U.K., leaving the entire Internet a spoiler minefield more dangerous than a World War I no-man's-land – it's set to make television a more beautiful place pretty much singlehandedly, with opulent sets and costumes, gorgeous cinematography, a cast that's restrained and rock-solid from top to bottom, and a rapturous theme song that makes fans of Edwardian romance drool like Pavlov's dogs.

But it also brings with it a cast as sprawling as any on TV, from the Crawleys – the aristocratic family who dwell in the huge country house that gives the show its title – to the many servants who keep both the house and the family afloat. Add a marriage, a pregnancy, and a visit from the Crawley kids' American grandmother (Shirley MacLaine) on the way this season to the show's trademark breakneck twists and turns, and things will only get more complex.

The Juiciest TV Hookups of 2012

Now's the time to sort out the daughters, suitors, butlers and dowagers that make Downton the most popular public TV drama of all time, so we're pairing off the characters to give you a couple-by-couple breakdown of who's who and what they've been up to. Whether you're new to the Abbey or a repeat visitor in need of a refresher, couple up and read on.

Lord Robert and Lady Cora: Land-rich and cash-poor, Robert Crawley, the Earl of Grantham, took the sleazy way out of potentially losing his family's ancestral home, the sprawling estate called Downton Abbey: he married American heiress Cora Levinson for her money. But eventually they fell in love and became the patriarch and matriarch of Downton's entire miniature society: the "upstairs" segment, consisting of them, their three daughters, and Robert's mother, Lady Violet, the Dowager Countess; and the "downstairs" servants who keep the household running – maids, cooks, footmen, housekeepers, and more.

Both Robert and Cora pretty much radiate reassurance and warmth when required, but the outbreak of World War I strained their relationship in Season Two. Relegated to the home front, where all he can do is polish the brass on his uniform, Lord Grantham grows disillusioned with the system that gives him such power but none when and where it really counts. Meanwhile, Lady Grantham throws herself first into the conversion of Downton into a convalescent hospital for wounded soldiers, then into the relationship woes of her eldest daughter, Mary. Robert briefly falls for Jane, a war widow recently hired as one of Downton's maids, before recommitting to Cora, who narrowly escapes a potentially fatal bout of Spanish influenza. Now their main concern is the well-being of not one, not two, but three scandal-plagued members of their household, to which Lord Grantham has proven surprisingly, endearingly understanding.

Lady Mary and Matthew Crawley: Mary's the high-strung, porcelain-skinned eldest daughter of Robert and Cora, prevented by law from inheriting their shared estate and fortune. Matthew's the ridiculously blue-eyed, middle-class lawyer and distant cousin set to inherit the Earl of Grantham's lands, titles and money when the previous heir, a closer male relative, dies on the Titanic. Together they're the romantic heart of the show, with a new break-up, make-up, scandal, love triangle or tragedy reshuffling their relationship in nearly every episode.

Class and cash have come between them, with Mary seeing Matthew as an interloper and Matthew suspicious that Mary only wants him for his soon-to-be money. Scandal has threatened to separate them too, like the (true) rumor that Mary lost her virginity during a one-night stand with a hot Turkish diplomat who died of a heart attack mid-thrust. They've even been engaged to other people: Matthew to sweet Lavinia Swire, who stayed by his side when a war wound briefly cost him his ability to walk or have children, only to die of Spanish flu shortly after catching him kissing Mary, and Mary to Sir Richard Carlisle, a nasty nouveau riche newspaper magnate who uses his power to quash the Turk scandal in exchange for marrying her despite her rumor-tainted reputation.

But love conquers all, and rather than subject both herself and Sir Richard (whose heart, let's face it, is really with the Khaleesi) to a loveless marriage of convenience, she dumps him for Matthew, saying yes to his marriage proposal even though she knows the vengeful Richard will now spread her sex scandal.

Lady Edith and Sir Anthony Strallan: Middle sister and perpetual also-ran Lady Edith has long stood in the shadow of her vivacious, occasionally vicious older sister Mary, but her experience working in Downton's army hospital – and conducting a brief and chaste but memorable affair with a married local farmer – seems to have given her a sense of greater purpose and self-confidence. Sir Anthony Strallan, a much older member of the upper class's lower tier, is the nice guy (not in the "Nice Guys of OKCupid" sense but in the "genuinely nice guy, if a bit on the boring side" sense) who was seen by many as about as good a match as Edith could hope for. In retaliation for leaking the truth about the Turk, Mary nuked Edith and Sir Anthony's relationship by lying to him about insults Edith was allegedly making about him behind his back. But when Sir Anthony returns home from the War with a wound, the two appear to have a rapprochement.

Lady Sybil and Branson: The cheerfully rebellious youngest sister of the Crawley family, Sybil's the most likely to challenge convention (in a safe, Downtonesque way): helping a maid get a job as a secretary, becoming a nurse during the War despite her young age and high station, wearing pants. Her chief weapons in these minor crimes against conformity are her incongruously sultry bedroom rasp of a voice and Branson, Downton's chauffeur, who also supports the slightly more serious rebellion in his native Ireland. It takes her a long time to reciprocate the feelings he confesses to her, but when she finally does, they defy Lord Grantham's orders – and his attempt to bribe Branson into staying away – and insist on getting married. Grudgingly impressed with Branson's moral fiber, Robert gives them his blessing to marry, move to Ireland and start a family, as English aristocrats are so famously wont to do when their youngest daughters fall in love with Irish rebels they hired to drive the car.

Bates and Anna: Far less tempestuous than the on-again, off-again love affair between Mary and Matthew, the slow-build relationship between Lord Grantham's valet John Bates and the Crawley daughters' ladies' maid Anna still manages to be the most heartache-inducing on the show, simply because the two of them are just so nice and so cursed. An old war buddy of Robert's, Bates received a wound that forces him to walk with a cane – a bad look for someone in the prestigious right-hand-man position of valet – but Lord Grantham hired him despite both his disability and the discovery that he was both a reformed drunk and ex-con. Anna was the one Downton employee who treated Bates with kindness as he struggled with his new job; that kindness became the basis for a love that both eventually admitted but neither dared act on for years.

Just when Bates overcame his self-doubt and was ready to marry Anna, his vindictive estranged wife Vera resurfaced, refusing to grant him the divorce he'd been seeking ever since he took the rap for crimes she committed. After playing a key role in exposing Mary's sex scandal just out of spite against Bates, she died under suspicious circumstances. Despite the support and testimony of Lord Grantham, Bates is tried and wrongfully convicted of Vera's murder after just one night of happiness as husband and wife with Anna.

O'Brien and Thomas: While there's no romance between them for a whole host of reasons, not least of which being the fact that he's secretly gay, Thomas (one of the footmen) and O'Brien (Lady Grantham's lady's maid) are Downton's dark power couple, a pair of bad-apple BFFs whose schemes and petty revenge plots wouldn't be possible without each other's support. Angry with Bates for swooping in and stealing the valet gig they believe Thomas deserved, the pair waged a long shadow war against him, culminating in O'Brien narcing about his relationship with Anna to Vera.

But by the end of season two, both had taken a few steps back from pure villainy. O'Brien regretted both her involvement in the scheme that led to Bates's imprisonment and the miscarriage she caused Lady Grantham to have before the war, when she set up the pregnant Cora for a fall in the bathroom over her erroneous belief that Cora was going to fire her. Meanwhile, Thomas had already unilaterally disarmed against Bates, and after a series of unfortunate events during the war – falling in love with a dying soldier while working as a medic, losing all his money in an ill-fated attempt to become a black marketeer, almost losing Lord Grantham's beloved dog in a hare-brained dognapping scheme – he cooks up a plan to make his way to the top of Downton's hierarchy so crazy it just might work: doing his job cheerfully and well.

Lady Violet and Isobel Crawley: The show's most quotable character, Lord Grantham's mother Lady Violet, a.k.a. the Dowager Countess, is to Downton Abbey what Mike is to Breaking Bad, Omar is to The Wire and Ben Linus is to Lost, and she's only slightly less dangerous to cross than any of those guys. Deadly with a well-placed putdown, she's opposed to the forces of progress slowly pulling apart Downton's old ways, but nonetheless becomes the number one supporter of Mary and Matthew's everything-rides-on-it relationship. Her chief sparring partner has been Matthew's opinionated mother, Isobel, whose middle-class self-confidence, and her determination to use her training as a nurse to influence the local hospital that Downton funds, gets on the Dowager Countess's every nerve. Typical exchange: "I take that as a compliment." "I must have said it wrong."

Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes: The heads of the male and female servants respectively, Carson is Downton's butler and Hughes its head housekeeper. The pair are almost fanatically devoted to the reputation and well-being of Downton and its residents, which they work to protect both officially and sometimes sneakily, like the good-hearted yin to Thomas and O'Brien's a-hole yang. Both of them are essentially married to the job, with Mrs. Hughes going so far as to turn down a proposal from an old flame. Their own relationship, which frequently unfolds in closed-door meetings in their modest offices, is strictly platonic. Carson's stately baritone may be the best speaking voice on this show, which is saying something.

Mrs. Patmore and Daisy: The real couple here ought to be scullery maid Daisy and footman William, who had a thing for the mousy assistant cook for years. But Daisy only agreed to marry the kind-hearted William after he incurred a mortal wound on the battlefield, and only went through with their deathbed nuptials out of the encouragement of her boss, the blustery cook Mrs. Patmore. Having recently lost a nephew to the war, she wanted William to die happy, even though she knew Daisy didn't really love him. The sweet but flighty Daisy eventually accepted the widow's pension that William's service earned her, too.

To read the new issue of Rolling Stone online, plus the entire RS archive: Click Here


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Monday, April 2, 2012

'Game of Thrones': Season Two Cheat Sheet

Daenerys in 'Game of Thrones.'

Game on! When the down-and-dirty epic fantasy Game of Thrones returns to HBO on April 1st, it'll be riding high on the tide of record-setting DVD and Blu-Ray sales, oodles of critical acclaim and award-show props (most notably Peter Dinklage's well-deserved Best Supporting Actor Emmy for his turn as Tyrion Lannister, everyone's favorite wiseass mastermind dwarf), and an impact on the zeitgeist that the it's-not-TV network hasn't seen since The Sopranos. It's also packing more plotlines and colliding more characters than the NFL offseason. Don't know your Dothraki from your direwolves? Don't worry – this cheat sheet will catch you up on all the Game's major players. Warning: many Season One spoilers ahead.

The World
Welcome to Westeros, a sprawling continent divided into Seven Kingdoms, now ruled by a single king. Aside from seasons that can last for years at a time, and rumors of strange creatures lurking in the frozen wastes far to the north, magic's a non-factor in this medieval world – it died out with the last dragons, decades ago. Today the most clear and present danger is strife between the land's great families or Houses. In the North there's the Starks, a stand-up bunch led by Eddard "Ned" Stark, who years ago helped his best friend Robert Baratheon overthrow a madman and claim the Iron Throne for himself. To the south there's the Lannisters, including Queen Cersei; Jaime, Robert's bodyguard and Cersei's twin brother – and secret lover; Tyrion, the family's brilliant dwarf black-sheep; and Tywin, the cold-hearted moneyman who bankrolls the realm.

When Robert taps Ned to become his top advisor, the so-called Hand of the King, a secret plot to cover up Jaime and Cersei's incest – and the fact that Robert's kids and heirs are actually Jaime's – leads to murder, betrayal, Ned's death, and an all-out war between Stark and Lannister.

But the real threats lurk elsewhere. North of the Wall that marks the edge of the Seven Kingdoms, a supernatural menace that can raise the dead is waiting for the onset of winter to make its move. And East of the Narrow Sea, the exiled heir to the throne, Daenerys Targaryen, is plotting to reconquer Westeros with the help of a horde of warriors…and a trio of dragons.

The Starks
Ned's dead, baby* (*every Game of Thrones writer is contractually permitted to make that joke exactly one time), betrayed by his wife Catelyn's smarmy childhood friend Lord Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish and beheaded at the orders of the boy king Joffrey Baratheon, who's like if someone gave a blond asshole villain from an Eighties teen movie the power to execute people. Not only does this devastate Ned's daughter Sansa, Joffrey's unfortunate fiancée, it also wrecks the plans of his mother and advisors to exile Ned rather than kill him, thus preserving peace with the Starks and their followers. At least Ned's younger daughter Arya was spared the sight of her dad getting the world's most severe haircut, thanks to the intervention of Yoren, a member of the Night's Watch (the dudes who guard the Wall) who was in the right place at the right time. He's disguised Arya as a boy and is now shipping her (and one of King Robert's secret bastard sons, a tough-looking kid called Gendry) up north with his usual haul of criminal recruits. There they hope to meet up with her brother Bran, crippled – and granted psychic powers – when Jaime Lannister tossed him out the window for catching him and his sister the queen in the act. Bran's now the young Lord of Winterfell, the Starks' home base, while his brother Robb and mother Catelyn are leading the North's rebellion against the Lannisters.

The Lannisters
Over in Lannister-land, Cersei is sitting pretty as the power behind the Iron Throne, now occupied by her sociopathic son Joffrey. Her twincestuous brother Jaime finds himself at the opposite end of the spectrum: Outsmarted and outfought by Ned Stark's inexperienced young heir Robb, he's been taken prisoner, confessing his crimes to Catelyn Stark while her son's followers honor the victory by proclaiming Robb the King in the North. Tyrion is somewhere in between: After escaping Catelyn's captivity and surviving his first big battle, he's been ordered by his father Tywin to head to the capital and take over Ned's old gig as the Hand of the King, where he'll have to fend off both his power-mad relatives and their enemies. No wonder he defies dear old dad and brings Shae, the whore he keeps on retainer, to court with him.

The Wall
At the Wall, the massive continent-spanning ice sculpture that separates the Seven Kingdoms from the lawless wildnerness to its north, Ned's bastard son Jon Snow narrowly resisted the temptation to go AWOL from the Night's Watch (a death-penalty offense) and join his half-brother's war on Lannisters. Now he and his fellow Watchmen are headed north of the Wall to take the fight to the enemy – both the regular-human wildlings who are rumored to be forming an army to assault the Wall, and the shadowy White Walkers who sent zombie assassins to take down the Night's Watch Lord Commander before Jon's quick thinking (and pet direwolf) put a stop to it.

The Dragons
Finally, far to the East, there's Daenerys, the last in the line of the Targaryen kings overthrown by Robert, Ned, and Jaime back in happier times. (For them, not for the Targaryens.) At first terrified by her arranged-marriage husband, the Dothraki warlord Khal Drogo, she & him became a formidable match – killing Dany's insufferable older brother Viserys, makin' a baby, and vowing to take back the Iron Throne together. All of that, baby included, went out the window when Drogo succumbed to an infected wound and the witchcraft of Mirri Maz Duur, a vengeful "healer" Dany "rescued" from Drogo's men. Dany takes the three priceless petrified dragon eggs she received as a wedding gift and jumps into Drogo's funeral pyre, and when the smoke clears, she emerges unharmed – with a posse of three live dragons. These legendary fire-breathing creatures once helped her ancestor Aegon the Conqueror take over the Seven Kingdoms, but they've been extinct for decades. Once these three are fully grown, they're basically nuclear bombs with wings, but that's a long way away.

And the Rest
Those big four factions aren't the only ones on the move. Though we've never actually seen him, Robert's brother Stannis knows that he, not Joffrey – a bastard in every sense of the word – is the true heir to the Iron Throne, and his reputation as one of the Seven Kingdoms' most unstoppable warriors has everyone on edge. Except, that is, his baby brother Renly, who fled King's Landing when it became clear Ned was going down. With the help of the rich and powerful family of Loras Tyrell, his deadliest knight, best friend, and secret lover, Renly's emerging as a contender for the throne, too. Then there's Theon Greyjoy, Ned Stark's ward – a polite way to say "hostage," since the Starks adopted him years ago after putting down a rebellion by his father Balon, the wannabe King of the Iron Islands. He swore allegiance to Robb, but that doesn't mean his long-lost family will follow suit.

To read the new issue of Rolling Stone online, plus the entire RS archive: Click Here


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